royalsandcelebs

Everyone get happy!  We’re nearing the end of my Royals of the Damned list!  All-Star break is over, and we just took two out of three games in Chicago.  The trade deadline is coming up, too, and I can’t wait to see what brand of ice cream sandwiches we get for Tony Pena, Jr. (come on, Blue Bunny!).  Before we can talk about all that, we gotta take care of these pitchers.  In this blog, the rotation.  Next blog, the bullpen.  Last post, the closer.  My God.  Let’s get this party started.  Fergilicious, or some such nonsense.

Starting rotation: Runelvys Hernandez, Eduardo Villacis, Jeff Granger, Denny Bautista, and Jose Lima.

Yikes.  Lots of good picks here.  Gotta start with Hernandez, and man, was this one just disappointing.  Lil’ Elvis came on late in 2002, and put up some ridiculous numbers.  Along with Jeremy Affeldt, we were looking like we actually had young pitching that was developing.  Hernandez was the more explosive of the two, if I remember correctly.  The guy came out of nowhere and stymied hitters.  I remember feeling the same way about Jose Rosado, how no one knew anything about the man, and then, one day, he just showed up and pitched a fantastic game.  A few years later, Rosie disappeared after a rough start in Toronto, never to be seen again after suffering some arm injury.  Hernandez also suffered an arm injury (Tommy John surgery was required), but unfortunately, we saw that big guy again.

He was our opening day starter in 2003, looked like an ace for a month, and then was missing in action until around 2005 due to those arm troubles.  He came back for two more ineffective, inconsistent seasons.  Occasionally, he would pitch a real gem, and remind fans of all that confusion he caused hitters.  Other times, he would start fights with John Buck during games and throw fastballs at Carlos Guillen’s head… twice… in a row… and claim it was an accident… twice.  He appealed his suspension, to which Major League Baseball responded with a hearty laugh.  Appeal denied.  Following 2006, Hernandez was released.  He recently wound up in Houston’s rotation, replacing that guy who choke-slammed the Astro’s general manager, and gave up 9 runs in 4 innings, including the first career hits for 2 PITCHERS.  Pitchers.  He was then demoted.  GM Ed Wade tried to call choke-slam guy back (that part probably isn’t true).

Villacis has sort of become the known epitome of bad decisions with this club.  It’s 2004.  KC is down a starter for one game.  The game’s in New York, against the Yankees, in legendary Yankee Stadium.  The once promising season is quickly going down the toilet.  Fans are clamoring for then-super phenom Zack Greinke, “The Greink!”, but the organization says they don’t want to rush the kid.  Same with former young stud-turned-broken-shell-of-a-pitcher Jimmy Gobble.  So, in their time of need, who do the Royals call-up?  Eduardo Villacis. 

No one had heard of him–no one.  The guy wasn’t even on the Royals list of TOP 40 PROSPECTS–40!!!  The kid went undrafted in 1998.  He was called up from Double-A during his FIRST YEAR IN DOUBLE-A.  Thrown from Wichita to starting in Yankee Stadium, because,… well, because the organization said some nonsense about “not knowing to fear Yankee Stadium.”  You know, because he’s only played baseball his entire life.  I’m sure he has no idea what Yankee Stadium is.  He might think it’s an Avril Lavigne song.  He’s got no idea.

The numbers for the game?  Pitches 3 and 1/3rd of an inning, and gives up 5 runs.  Then, we sent him back down.  Then, we cut him.  Then, he never, ever, ever made it back to the major leagues.  Congratulations go out once again to the Kansas City Royals Make-a-Wish Foundation, for seemingly giving every Royals fan a chance to play for their hometown team!  Way to go!  Oh, and remember how they didn’t want to rush Zack Greinke?  Villacis pitched on May 1st, 2004.  Greinke was called up on May 24th, 2004.  I’m really glad gave Greinke those three weeks to find himself down in Wichita.  Really helped him out in 2006 (double kudos to Buddy Bell for leaving him in for that Arizona start where he gave up about 13 runs–great developing, guys).  Word to the wise: don’t ever let Allard Baird baby-sit your kids.  They’ll be in a walker by age 8.

Jeff Granger–the beginning of the end.  He was the number 5 overall pick in 1993, I believe.  This was the magnificent beginning of our draft day strategy of drafting only those we KNEW we could sign.  I could rattle names off the list.  We know the list.  Most of these number one picks are no longer playing baseball.  I think Dan Reichert might be playing for the “Surf Dogs,” but I might have that confused with his possible employment at Redondo Beach’s popular dog accessory store, also named “Surf Dogs.”

We signed Granger.  He came up and pitched for us that same year he was drafted, even though he’d only started 7 games in Single-A (they were probably good starts).  Then, he came up the next year, started 2 games, and was sent down to Omaha or Wichita to become a reliever.  Soon after that, he performed in the minors, and was rushed up to the big leagues (again) with his new position, and after 15 appearances, the organization washed their hands of Granger.  He was then sent to Pittsburgh with a young Joe Randa for Jay Bell and Jeff King. 

We had this kid, a two-sport stud, and brought him up THE SAME YEAR HE WAS DRAFTED.  We shuffled him not only between the big league club and Triple-A, and not only the big league club and Double-A, but THE BIG LEAGUE CLUB AND SINGLE-A?!!  THE SAME YEAR HE WAS DRAFTED?!!  AFTER SEVEN STARTS?!!  FOR A FREAKING SEPTEMBER CALL-UP?!!  This is why we haven’t developed a pitcher, guys.  We never know what to do with them.  We either shuffle them back and forth until they’re out of options and we have no idea what we’re dealing with, or we just let them rot down on the farm, not teaching them anything about the game–the real game.  Say what you will about Hochevar, but at least there were reasons behind his average numbers in Omaha–he was developing, learning what worked and what didn’t.  I don’t know if anyone taught Granger a darn thing, other than how to strike out some guy who was taken in the 24th round.  Take a look at Jeff Granger’s growing pains and you’ll know why this organization may never climb back up.

Bautista is Pedro Martinez’s cousin.  He had good “stuff,” but, unfortunately, he couldn’t pitch.  We put him in the rotation.  He couldn’t pitch.  He was ridiculously wild.  He couldn’t pitch.  He could throw a baseball and confuse a hitter or two the first time they saw him, but THE KID COULD NOT PITCH.  I believe we traded “The Snitch,” Jason Grimsley, for this guy, so it’s not a huge loss, but everyone went nuts for this kid after ONE GREAT START.  One.  He gave up one run to the Angels in 8 innings.  After that, kid couldn’t pitch.  Not a pitcher (have I hit home with this one yet?).

His delivery on every single pitch was different.  When there’s no rhythm and routine in your delivery, you’re going to get injured.  And, sure enough, he got tendinitis after seven starts.  He was never the same.  If we’d have scouted him more clearly, we could have seen that, despite all his nasty moments, he was never going to pitch.  The kid couldn’t pitch.

Jose Lima time–believe it!  He was obviously bad.  On a wing and a prayer, we brought him up in 2003 and he played really well for, like, 6 starts.  He got injured, wanted a contract in the off-season, but we passed.  Not a bad move.  He went to the Dodgers some point during the 2004 season, played pretty well, and won their only playoff game that year.  Then the Royals re-signed him.  They would have gotten him on borrowed time in 2004.  They got him after the expiration date in 2005.

2005 opening day starter Jose Lima.  His season?  A won-loss record of 5-16.  An ERA of 6.99.  One complete game.  He was out of gas.  He was done.  Was the signing that bad?  Honestly, no, it wasn’t.  He’d just come off a 5-hit, 1-run playoff win against the 2004 St. Louis Cardinals, which was one of the deadliest line-ups in all of baseball.  However, in the middle of a 5-16 season with an ERA that stayed around 7 all year, someone NEEDS to step in and say, “It’s time for you to leave.”  Lima started 32 games–32 freaking games!!  He didn’t get released, or sent to the bullpen, or even Triple-A.  He played 32 games; he started 32 games.  He played the whole, entire year, averaging a run given up every, what, 5 AT BATS?!!  He made it the entire year.  Jose Lima, you may not have won the Cy Young, but hey, congratulations on your perfect attendance ribbon.  Great work!

My brain just exploded.  How do you not release Jose Lima?  How do you not release Jose Lima?  How do you not release Jose Lima?  My head hurts; my brain hurts; my everything hurts.  But, hey, seriously, in all seriousness, seriously speaking… How do you not release Jose Lima?  I know his wife had HUGE breasts, but were they big enough to justify 16 losses and an ERA bigger than Dan Saleaumua?  Breasts will never be built big enough for that!

My point isn’t these guys specifically.  It’s that we keep having these same types of guys.  I could have substituted so many different guys in here.  Shawn Sedlacek, Jay Witasick, Dan Reichert, Jeff Austin, Blake Stein, and so on, and so forth.  They come down the line, every year, these guys who show up once every three years during a “down,” patchwork period for some other team, a spot starter for two games while the real pitcher rehabs in Double-A.  We keep finding these guys, signing them, and immediately placing them in the rotation, as if they’ve earned the spot, when, in all honesty, they haven’t earned anything.  It’s quite the opposite.  We have them because they just got canned.  Suddenly, we pick them up because, sure, they have great “stuff,” but they can’t pitch, and our pitching coach that particular year thinks he can fix them.  He might make some progress, until the coach gets let go the next year, and then we start from scratch with some brand new pitching coach who doesn’t know this pitcher who’s been left for dead.  He works with him a little, but time is short, and it’s Spring Training, and there are three other guys behind this guy with such great “stuff,” He’s working on some brand-new mechanics some stranger just advised to him, but still getting lit up in the process, and, before you know it, we’ve thrown this guy out, too, who was our number three starter the previous season.  It’s a vicious cycle we’re finally starting to get out of, the constant signing of damaged pitchers and shuffling of young players into and out of the majors.  I’ve seen this garbage for 15 years, and I can’t handle one more.  No more guys who can “throw.”  I want pitchers.

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